Permission to Find Your True Self

My daughter, a soon-to-be first grader, a six-year-old going on twenty, and the light of my life. She was born to be covered in glitter, diamonds, and any other shiny piece of clothing she can find. She runs her own Pinterest board, pinning the latest nail designs, wedding dresses, wedding cakes, sparkly high heels, and cutesy pictures of animals. The exact opposite of her mother, who abhors the sight of glitter, sparkles, and all that "girly crap!" While I was pregnant with her, I had the overwhelming knowledge (I can't explain why) that I was going to have a girl. I found my self bargaining with fate..."If she's going to be a girl, please make her a tomboy, I can handle one of those!!" I remember thinking, if I do have a girl, I am NOT following societal rules. She will be introduced to science/math early. I will not give her Barbies. I will not buy her a kitchen/cleaning playset. I will dress her in blue. But fate had other plans and by a year old my very independent (that she did get from me!!) fashionista was playing with her baby dolls, Barbies, and princesses in her kitchen play set. When she was four, she designed her bedroom...I found myself painting two walls fuschia and two walls purple with purple and pink/purple polka dot bedspread. Then in kindergarten, I paid for cheerleading camp, then watched my daughter practice her cheers every night and cheering at a varsity football game; she loved every minute of it! As much as it killed me on the inside, I have wholeheartedly supported each "girly" activity she has decided she needed to tackle next. From the day she was born, my daughter has been teaching me a lesson. No matter what my plans are for her, no matter what my opinions are of societal pressure on feminine versus masculine roles, she is going to be whatever she was born to be.

I have taken this lesson into the classroom. Each year, I am greeted by thirty plus teenagers, all with differing dreams, goals, realities, support, and talents. Instead of trying to make them what I believe to be the best type of student, I take the time to learn who they are. Not just the type of learner, but what really makes them tick, what do they do outside of my classroom, what are they passionate about, what is most important to them. Lessons, then, can be individualized to their needs/passions. For example, If I have a student that writes fan fiction, she writes her own fictional stories of historical events. This summer, I am leaving the classroom to begin a new role, instructional coaching. I will be working with high school teachers, supporting them in the craft of teaching. As I start preparing for this task, I find myself thinking, again, of the lesson my daughter taught me. Yes, there is a definition of good teaching, but each teacher also brings their own personality into the mix. We need to allow teachers to find their true teacher self and support them blending that into the lessons, allowing them to experiment with new tools, growing from their successes and failures. As I begin this endeavor in August, that will be the focal point of my coaching, giving the teachers permission to find/be their true self.